literature

Don't Worry

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Mez10000's avatar
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Literature Text

Don't worry. I know girls like me are not asked out by people like you. Girls like me are not asked out at all.

Don't worry. Some of us learn to give up all hope early. Others cling to the fantasy that maybe someone isn't that shallow. That their liberator will be someone who looks past the cosmetic imperfections, to the soul underneath.

Don't worry. I am not one of them. I do not believe a single person can actually look at me and find my soul, buried deep underneath my insecurities.

Don't worry. I do not hold it against them, either. You and I were raised in a sad, cruel world where the only way to be beautiful is to be unnatural. I look at myself in the mirror, noting down all the things I would change if I could. Noting that if I could date anyone, it certainly would not be this ugly creature staring back at me.

Don't worry. I tell myself I am not shallow enough to get cosmetic surgery, or starve myself thin. I tell myself that somewhere, somebody will love me, even with all my imperfections.

Don't worry. The biggest imperfection is in the human nature that compels me to stare into the polished glass. I want to be perfect. I am so selfish that I hear of others with body issues, and convince themselves that they have no idea of what that really feels like. That I can be the only one suffering.

Don't worry. I tell myself that if only someone would compliment me, I would feel better. In all honesty, I would feel worse. I would obsess over the compliment. Was it the truth, or sarcastic joke? If it were the truth, why would someone choose to compliment me? The ugly and unloved do not get complimented. No, it must be in jest. I am just another object of ridicule, after all.   

Don't worry. I am just another one of those people who you pass by every day. Do we look invisible to you? Are we so physically loathsome that we don't get noticed? Or is there truly some shy hero watching me, waiting to confess undying love at the right moment?

Don't worry. I do not believe me, either. I live in a romance in which there is only one lonely heroine.
Before I get a ton of comments on this telling me to cheer up or whatever else you might say, I wrote this ages ago, I was feeling really badly about myself, my confidence and my body image. That hasn't completely gone away, but it does not and never will rule my life.

I wanted to post this so perhaps those in similar situations can relate and know that it can get better.

If you've read the above, then I would love to hear some comments. Does it engage you emotionally? Does it hold your interest?
© 2010 - 2024 Mez10000
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XenonTheShapeChanger's avatar
I love this so much. It puts what I feel like into beautiful words.
Also, I am very glad you are not feeling like this as much anymore. :hug: